8/05/2009

30 days ago I had an amazing opportunity to preach in service. I wrote briefly about it in my last entry. I was so excited and humbled at the opportunity, a chance of a lifetime. It's amazing how God works in my life. You see every time I get those "once in a lifetime" opportunities they are always followed by an earthquake. I would be a liar if I said that I never questioned my own faith when this happened. The simple truth is that I never had questioned it as much as I did this week.

After that amazing chance to preach - 30 days later, my church has closed up shop. There were many factors involved. I know the pain and confusion my family is sifting through, I can't even imagine what the Pastor and his family are going through.

I have so many internal questions like, "how can you just walk away from your flock", ... and "why didn't our sister church step in and help"... Trust me, I have a lot more where those came from. BUT those are questions that I am giving to God. I really don't want the answers, because quite frankly - It's none of my business. I have come to the realization that everything in life is temporary - jobs, relationships, churches, cars, etc. I have poured out my heart to serve God so that He gets the glory. That's all I want - it's not a title or position I am seeking - it's glory for my God!

So life will go on. I have no idea where I will take my family, or if I even desire to pursue full time ministry as a vocation anymore. I need a break, I need to feast on the bread of life and drink from the living water.

But there is still a problem with that. I have 40+ people who are turning to me for the answer to what's next. An answer I don't know how to give. An answer that must come from God. Do I take over and begin leading this abandoned flock? Do I ignore their cry for help? What is it God? What am I supposed to do?

So that's where I am... Praying for an answer. I believe God wants me to take this on and help His people transition into the next step. I am committed to doing that. Continue praying for us my friends - Pray that we would bring glory to God!

~Josh