So I foud myself really stressing out lately. Started losing weight again and my hair (like abnormally). Vacation is 4wks away!! - Josh

5/04/2009

Wow... Made it through another week. Last week was quite trying. I received direction on my new work situation. Gotta tell you that was tough. Sunday I had to cut out of church right at the end and head to work. My wife and kids had to miss service to accommodate me going to work. We all had to miss out on the Baptisms followed by the Fusion Church BBQ after service. All this for what? I went into work and did absolutely nothing but grow continually more frustrated. I spent most of the time on my blackberry looking for a new job on careerbuilder.com and monster.com... Then I stumbled upon an even better site -- churchjobs.net. Was liking that one...

Through it all I kept telling God how much I love and trust Him. I needed to feel His presence on me the entire day. He was the only one keeping me from walking off the job.

This week has been ok so far, after all it's only Monday! LOL!! So far I have driven to Kissimmee to work the 1st half of my day then off to Tampa for the second half. Missed the men's fellowship wing night -- AGAIN! Missed family time with Kim and the kids and arrived home to a quiet house and left over dinner.

I am so confused... God gave me this job to sustain us. He made it clear it was for a season. But at what cost? I am truly confused... My family and I are having to sacrifice our Sunday worship time. I am feeling so disconnected in my leadership role at church and I have no fellowship or "hang out time" with my Pastor.

On top of all that I am missing out on my family time! How can I be a great father and husband if I only get to see them 15mins before school, once a week at night, and Sundays at church???

Praying for a miracle...

God Bless you all!

~Josh